I love idiot drivers

"Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole" (Dukie)
11/25/2015 at 09:42 • Filed to: Stupid Drivers

Dear Fucktrumpet in the Volvo on 405 this morning,

When you merge onto the highway, it’s not a very good idea to move into the middle lane and slam on your brakes when someone is traveling at speed, about 1000 feet behind you.

Sincerly,

The driver of the black IS300 that really wanted to pull you out of your car and slap the shit out of you.

DISCUSSION (9)

blacktruck18 > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
11/25/2015 at 10:23

I miss driving in the PNW, I thought drivers there were bad. They ain’t got shit on Southern Illinois, everyday I see something completely insane here. It’s truly amazing.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
11/25/2015 at 10:24

My most hated part of driving is when I have to merge on the highway behind someone - I don’t think people understand that by the time you merge you should already be doing 100km/h+ (or whatever actual traffic speed is) and that the on-ramp is meant for you to accelerate.

I’m always fully-clenched whenever I’m behind some fuck who has reached the end of the on ramp and we’re only doing 70km/h.

Why this idiot decided to brake after merging is beyond me, but you figure the easiest place to drive should be the place where the least mistakes occur, but it's always just a shitshow.

V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches > gin-san - shitpost specialist
11/25/2015 at 10:29

I know! Or when someone won't accelerate period, but instead they will gradually gain speed. The V12 helps with accelerating though :)

Ash78, voting early and often > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
11/25/2015 at 10:41

Fucktrumpet

I believe it’s called a Vuvuzela.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches
11/25/2015 at 10:43

I have a 1.6L 4-cylinder, makes 110hp on a good day. Oddly enough, it's more than adequate for most driving situations since people don't drive very fast around here. Only time where I wish I had more power is when I'm on a two-lane highway where passing opportunities are infrequent. My car needs a very long straight to make a responsible passing manoeuver.

jvirgs drives a Subaru > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
11/25/2015 at 11:19

I’m going to start using fucktrumpet more often. That’ll be one of my new favorites like douchecanoe

Amoore100 > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
11/25/2015 at 11:37

Sounds like the V90 driver that my dad saw who literally merged into the side of a Prius on the expressway...perhaps us Volvo drivers get too much of a feeling of invulnerability...

V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches > gin-san - shitpost specialist
11/25/2015 at 12:27

Yeah, I feel your pain. My dd for 11 years was a 1998 accord with the 4 pot and it'll be my winter car when I put the S600 away in a few days.

RoboRed "The road to hell is paved with overturned Vanduras" > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
11/25/2015 at 13:04

Dear Fucktrumpet

I need to start using this.